


Thinking Too Much

by crescentim



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking, Drug Use, Kissing, M/M, Party, Recreational Drug Use, Reunions, Underage Drinking, but they’re in college so, im not completely sure how old they are tbh, it’s weed, softies, they just love each other!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:00:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21766639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crescentim/pseuds/crescentim
Summary: Mark swayed his head as he debated the pros and cons of the idea, eyes wandering the open night sky above them.Then he thought ‘fuck it’ and took a deep breath, staring directly at Donghyuck.“So do you wanna like, get high?”
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Mark Lee
Comments: 5
Kudos: 43





	Thinking Too Much

**Author's Note:**

> wow okay so I have no idea how long I’ve been working on this but it’s been so long in the making,,, I hope it’s enjoyable ♡

Mark hated parties.

Maybe that’s an exaggeration. Mark hated large, loud parties. Ones where everyone drinks too much and talks too loud. Ones where shitty music is blasted out of some rich kid’s overpriced speakers. They didn’t appeal to him. He liked small “get-togethers” with his friends where they drank cheap beer and smoked good weed. 

So when his friends suggested going to some over-crowded party at some huge house, he wasn’t too keen on the idea. 

“You literally never come to parties, Mark,” Jaemin said as he fixed his hair in the mirror. 

Mark’s face twisted in confusion and he leaned back against the squeaky headboard. “I go to so many with you guys, we went to three last week.”

Jaemin rolled his eyes before looking at mark through the mirror. “Not the fun ones though.”

The older shrugged his shoulders and picked at a loose thread in the bedsheets. “I think Jeno has fun parties,” he mumbled. 

Yukhei threw the bathroom door open, drying his hair with a towel. “Jeno throws lame hangouts. I love the guy but he rarely has enough booze, if any. Just come with us to this one, I heard the new kid from China is hosting it.”

Mark quietly mimicked Yukhei as he stepped back into the steamy bathroom. He didn’t really care who was throwing it or who was going. He just didn’t want to go.

He was fine with staying in the dorm for the evening and sleeping early. But he also felt like he should accompany his friends, at least to keep them in check. 

“You don’t even have to drink,” Jaemin sat down next to Mark as he rolled up the cuffs of his jeans. He sighed as he sat up, nudging Mark’s shoulder with his own. “You can hang out in a corner or something. Renjun might be there, you two could figure out something fun I’m sure.”

Mark rolled his eyes. _You kiss someone one time and suddenly everyone thinks you have a thing_. They had both been very clear after the kiss that they hadn’t cared for it. But everyone who knew seemed very set on proving them both wrong, Jaemin included. It was starting to get annoying. 

“Come with and get shitfaced,” Yukhei contrasted as he once again appeared from the bathroom, this time with dry hair. “You can wallow around in self pity or whatever tomorrow. Please just come with us.”

To further his point, the taller boy walked over and held both of Mark’s hands. He used his large eyes to his advantage and stuck out his bottom lip as he kneeled next to the bed. “Please please please please pleaaaase, come with us Markyyyy.”

Mark rolled his eyes and push Yukhei back with his foot, the taller landing on his butt between the dorm beds. “Ugh, if you shut up I’ll go.”

And that’s how he ended up at a huge party with 2 solo cups worth of booze coursing through his veins. He wasn’t sure exactly what kind of alcohol he had been consuming but he did know that it tasted pretty good mixed with Coke. They had decided to call an Uber to the party which meant he wasn’t worried about drinking, and so he would drink without worry since both his friends had split off not too long ago. Mark didn’t mind being at the party by himself, he had ran into a few old friends while he was there and he wasn’t upset that Jaemin and Yukhei had left, but it was starting to get a bit uncomfortable by himself. 

The constant bumping of the bass was loud enough to vibrate through his whole body and was starting to get annoying. The layout of the house had the kitchen connected to the living room so there were no walls to buffer the volume of the music. Mark pushed himself off the island and let his feet take him out of the kitchen and down a large hallway. 

There were bodies moving even in there, a few couples attached to the walls and each other. Mark was never one for much pda so he never understood how people so willingly sucked face in open spaces. 

He pushed himself passed a few more people before arriving at the back door. He wasn’t too tipsy yet but his head still swam as he reached down and turned the knob. 

Cold air breathed into the room and wrapped itself around him, already helping to clear his head slightly. He slipped through the door without opening it too much and closed it behind him as the autumn breeze wrapped him in a chilling hug. 

The backyard wasn’t huge, but it was a nice size. Small lights twinkled as they hung from rafters over the patio, softly illuminating the few chairs underneath it. The music from inside was muffled by the thick glass doors so Mark’s body no longer felt like it was being shaken by the deep bass. Nobody else seemed to be outside and it allowed Mark to properly breathe for the first time that night. 

He dragged his feet across the cement until he reached the grass, sitting down where the two met and setting his drink down next to him. He closed his eyes and leaned back, running his hand through the grass and letting the cool air blow through his hair. It was a nice change from the atmosphere inside. 

He took deep breaths in and looked up at the night sky. Sure, he hadn’t want to come here but outside wasn’t bad. He enjoyed the solitude he was now able to find. 

As he finished off the rest of his drink, he let out a few hums of an old song. Mark closed his eyes and gently swayed to his own tune. His hums turned to singing soon as he let out the words to the autumn sky. 

“Hey there, choir boy.”

Mark abruptly stopped singing and looked over to see another boy leaning against one of the wooden beams. 

“Oh my god, I’m sorry. I- I thought I was alone out here,” Mark quickly stuttered as he pushed himself off the ground. He kept his head low and didn’t fully stand up, trying to apologize with his body as well as his words. 

A bright laugh filled the air. It was followed by a voice just as sweet and charming. 

“No need to apologize. You have a nice voice.”

Mark stood up but kept his eyes on the other’s shoes. “I- I’m not sure about that. But thanks, I guess?”

He watched as the other person scuffed their shoes against the grass, half hopping closer to him. “I mean it. I could listen to you sing more,” their last few words slurred together. 

A blush crept over Mark’s cheeks and his eyes flickered up to the face of the other and… _fuck_.

He played with the bottom of his shirt as the heat in his cheeks grew more intense. In front of him stood THE Lee Donghyuck, his old crush-slash-best friend, still one of the prettiest boys he had ever met, even after two years apart. 

“You should sing mo- holy shit, Mark? Mark is it really you?”

Mark bashfully raised his gaze, eyes meeting those of the boy with sun-kissed skin and dark golden hair. 

“Hey, Donghyuck.” He flashed an embarrassed smile. 

The younger stumbled closer, his empty hand grasping Mark’s shoulder, dopey smile filling his face. 

“Marky, it’s been so long oh my god. Didn’t think your voice could change that much, I didn’t even recognize it. Wait, I thought you went out of state for school? Didn’t you get some awesome scholarship?” His hand slipped to the top of Mark’s arm. 

Mark shrugged a bit and took in the details of Donghyuck’s face that he could see. The younger had aged even in the past two years. His face was still full but his cheekbones and jaw were more defined than he remembered. But what he did remember were the few moles that laid upon his skin and the light in his eyes. His hair was longer and he seemed to have grown out of his habit of constantly straightening his curls so his bangs licked his forehead and the sides of his face. A stray curl lay over his ear and Mark resisted the urge to push it back. 

The questions he had been asked worked its way back into his mind and Mark remembered he should answer. 

“I did a year and semester out of state but I wasn’t fairing all too well far away from family and stuff,” he mumbled the last part. “I’m at the local college now and finished like last week-ish? What about you?”

Donghyuck took his hand back and waved it in the air, blowing a raspberry as he did so. “Community college. Nothing fancy but I have to pay for myself so I can’t exactly afford to go anywhere.”

Mark remembered the younger’s financial and family situation and nodded his head. “Nothing wrong with community college, you know? I’m really proud of you for continuing school.”

He could have sworn he saw the other blush but it could have easily been a trick of the lights or a rush from the alcohol that he could easily smell. 

“Thank you, Mark,” Donghyuck spoke a bit more quietly than before. “Not many people seem to think so… It’s nice to have your support even after so much time.”

“Oh, of course.” Mark shoved his hands in his pocket, feeling old wrappers and a few coins. He wasn’t sure what else to say. He could continue talking about school but he didn’t really feel complaining about his classes. 

The two quietly stood apart from each other now, muted music mixing with the noise from the small water fixture to their side. It wasn’t awkward, per-say but it wasn’t a comfortable silence either. It was a silence vignetted with the same feeling when you’re just sitting with someone who means a lot to you, when you don’t need to say words to know how much you care for their presence.

Mark’s head swarmed with ideas of what to talk about as he glanced up at the boy across from him. His gaze was down as he lazily traced over the dead patches of grass beneath his feet and played with the lip of his solo cup. Mark nibbled on his lower lip, wondering if it was as awkward for the other. His heart beat faster in his chest when an idea came to mind. He swayed his head as he debated the pros and cons of the idea, eyes wandering the open night sky above them. 

Then he thought _fuck it_ and took a deep breath, staring directly at Donghyuck.

“So do you wanna like, get high?”

One response and five minutes later the two boys were in front of each other again, but this time they were sat on the ground. 

Mark hadn’t completely been expecting to get cross faded so he only had some partially crushed edibles in his pockets. Thankfully the two suckers had been wrapped so it wasn’t as messy as he thought it would be. 

“Have you gotten high before?” Mark questioned as he held the different flavors out to the other boy. While the two had drank a lot together in high school, Mark didn’t take to it until right before college so they had no shared memories of getting high.

Donghyuck shrugged his shoulders and grabbed the mango sucker, leaving a strawberry one for Mark. “Once, but that was almost a year ago. Wasn’t the best time, ya know?” His eyes were slightly glossed over from the alcohol he had been drinking.

“It wasn’t with edibles though,” he continued, “so I don’t really know, like, what to expect.”

Mark hummed and tore open his sucker, watching Donghyuck do the same. He watched the younger through his eyelashes. 

“It’s… different. Smoking only takes a few minutes but these can take a while.” He popped the sucker into his mouth as he leaned back against the bed behind him. “If you haven’t gotten high much I wouldn’t take the whole thing at once. You can always take more but you can’t take less.”

Donghyuck nodded. “People say that a lot.”

He took a broken half of the sucker and hesitantly put it in his mouth. Mark watched absentmindedly, watching the way Donghyuck’s tongue took the sucker into his mouth, darting over his lower lip for a moment. He watched the way his cheeks quickly hollowed when he moved the broken piece around in his mouth.

“This tastes good,” the younger said, obviously oblivious to the way Mark stared at his lips. 

Mark wondered if Donghyuck tasted good.

Silence passed between them, Mark’s mind too hazed from his drinks to respond before Donghyuck’s words slipped from his mind. Strawberry sat on his tongue but he wished he could exchange the taste for that of mango. 

“What do we do while we wait for it to hit?”

Mark took a deep breath to snap himself out of whatever trance he was in. His eyes darted up to meet Donghyuck’s (which seemed to glow a soft amber despite the dim lighting in the room).

“We can do whatever. Talk, watch tv..” _make out_, he thought. 

“I like tv.”

Donghyuck rocked forward, his face inching towards Mark’s. The older’s breath hitched but was let out in a shaky sigh as Donghyuck rocked back again and pushed himself up. He kept his back hunched as he fell with arms outstretched on the bed.

Mark kept his eyes on the ground, listening to Donghyuck’s socks shuffle against the floor and then the slight groan of the mattress as he crawled onto the sheets. Three dull taps followed not too long after. 

“You gonna get up here too or what?”

Mark pushed himself from the floor and turned around to see Donghyuck leaning back on his elbows. His eyes were half lidded, lips parted just enough to be able to see the way his tongue twisted as he fiddled with the sucker. His hair was a mess from the dancing he had been doing and his cheeks were flushed from the alcohol he had been consuming. He was absolutely perfect (_and really fucking hot_).

Mark’s heart skipped a few beats and thoughts flooded into his mind, but he shoved them back out just as quickly as they came in.

He slowly lifted a knee onto the mattress, watching how Donghyuck moved as the bed dipped with his weight. His hands met the cool sheets and slid their way up passed the younger’s sides. Mark brought both his legs onto the bed, half hovering over Donghyuck. He was so tempted to lower his head and place kisses over every freckle and mole on his tanned skin.

More than anything he wanted to taste mango.

But he settled for that of strawberry and crawled around Donghyuck, settling against the pillows behind him. Donghyuck inched back and rested between Mark’s legs, head gently settling on his chest. Mark hoped he couldn’t feel the way his heart was jackhammering in his chest. 

Donghyuck closed his eyes and folded his hands over his stomach, tongue still playing with the sucker in his mouth. Mark absentmindedly flipped the one in his own mouth as well but went back to pushing it against his cheek. His eyes traced over the gentle-yet-sharp details of Donghyuck’s face and he found himself looking back to his lips just a few too many times. 

He grabbed the remote from the bedside table and turned the tv on, switching between channels, desperate to find something enjoyable to watch. It was late so not many good shows were playing, but the two eventually decided to just let reruns of an old show play. Neither knew the name of the program but neither really cared. 

The two sat together for who-knows-how-long, breaths in a slow sync as they ignored the muted blasting of music from the rooms below and the muddy audio from the tv. The room was a complete opposite from the party they had come from. Downstairs was hot rooms packed full of sweaty, horny, drunk kids, bright lights and music that was definitely too loud for the neighborhood. But up here was calm, a faint blue glow from lights strung up along the seam between the ceiling and the walls. Sure, there were still two sweaty, drunk (slightly less horny) teens but the air was cool against their flushed skin. 

Mark loved the way this felt. He loved how Donghyuck fit in his lap, how his light hair brushed under his chin, how he could see his chest rise and fall with each breath he took. He wished they could be like this more. It was calming.

Donghyuck leaned his head back and broke the silence.

“Is my tongue supposed to feel like this?” He stuck out his tongue and pointed to it, eyes flicking between his tongue and Mark. 

Mark leaned his head forward to look at Donghyuck’s mouth, as if that would help him understand better. “How’s it feel?”

“Fuzzy.”

Donghyuck went cross-eyed as he poked at his tongue. He retracted it and squeezed his eyes shut, a loud laugh erupting in the room. Mark couldn’t help but let a smile cross over his face too.

The younger’s laughter slowly faded out and the smile fell off his face too, eyes seeming to gloss over even more. 

“You alright Hyuck?” Mark squeezed his cheeks between his hands. 

“Hyuckkk. Hyuck. Hyuck Hyuck Hyuck. Hyuckiieeee.” He prodded his cheeks with each pronunciation of his name. 

After a moment Donghyuck snapped back to reality, eyes brightening again. Suddenly he looked down to his arms, which he was raising to shoulder-height. 

He let out a mix between a gasp and a giggle. “M’rk, look. Look Mark, my arms are floating.”

Mark pushed his right arm back to his side but as soon as he let go it slowly rose back up. This elicited another giggle from Donghyuck. 

“I’m not doing this, I swear,” another laugh. “My arms are floating. It feels like I’m in water.”

Donghyuck tilted his head back, a goofy and lopsided smile plastered on his face as he stared Mark in the eyes. “This is so much fun, I-I can’t put my arms down.”

Mark kept pushing his arms down and allowed his smile to grow bigger each time Donghyuck laughed when they lifted back up.

“What if they never go back down?” Donghyuck asked as he flopped his wrists around. 

Mark’s head felt light and clear. He reached his hands up and gently clasped Donghyuck’s hands in his own.

“I’ll just hold em down… like uh, like this.”

He wasn’t sure exactly what he was doing but Mark just crossed Donghyuck’s arms over his chest and held him in a hug. He could have sworn he felt Donghyuck’s heart beat faster when he did that, but he could swear a lot of things when he was high. 

“Th-that’s nice.” Donghyuck bit his lip as a new heat crept over his face and ears. 

Mark nodded and lightly rested his chin on top of Donghyuck’s head. “Yeah, really is.”

He didn’t feel as nervous when he was like this. When he was sober, Mark thought too much and focused too much, but when he was high nothing mattered. He just let himself do what he wanted and would deal with the consequences later.

Was it the best idea? No.

Was he going to do it anyway? Absolutely.

He was also touchy when he was high. He didn’t really get munchies or “deep”, he just liked to hold people or be held. He liked to feel someone’s arm against his, to rest his head on someone’s shoulder. So this was perfect for him, his bare arms warm where they came in contact with Donghyuck’s and his chest hot from the heat the younger always radiated. 

Mark got high often enough to know exactly what he liked when he was high, but he realized he didn’t know anything about Donghyuck. 

“You hungry?” Mark mumbled into his hair. 

Donghyuck shrugged. He stared at his toes as they wiggled inside of his socks. Until he started trying to kick his socks off, that is. 

“Why are socks so uncomfortable? I want my toes to breathe. Free my toesiessss,” he whined as he kicked his socks somewhere into the room. Once his socks were off he seemed extremely pleased and looked at Mark, and then back at his toes. 

Mark followed his gaze, laughing as Donghyuck wiggled his toes around. 

“This piggy went to the market, and so did this one, and this one, and this one and-“

Mark drained out the next 6 “and this one’s”. Then Donghyuck started swaying in his arms, half mumbling and half singing a tune while he started rotating his other limbs. He stretched his ankles out, and then bicycled his legs, then started rocking side to side slightly.

“You like to move around a lot, don’t you?” Mark asked as Donghyuck started wiggling more. 

“Wanna dance.”

It sounded more like a command than a statement as Donghyuck started trying to slide from between Mark’s arms. 

“What if I wanna hold youuu?” He squeezed tight around his friend. 

“No, fucking get off. Fuck. I need to move,” there was sudden urgency in Donghyuck’s voice. 

Mark loosened his grip but didn’t let go. “You okay?”

Donghyuck threw an elbow back, narrowly missing Mark. “I said fucking let me go.”

Mark did so immediately, raising his hands up. His heart was beating quicker but this time out of fear. Not fear of Donghyuck, but fear that something was wrong. 

He watched as Donghyuck scrambled off the bed, throwing sheets everywhere as he fell off the end. Donghyuck shook his hands around and bounced on the balls of his feet. Mark could tell this wasn’t his dancing. 

Donghyuck closed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair, trying to force himself to dance. 

Mark leaned into his knees and crawled to the edge of the bed, an arm gingerly reaching out to Donghyuck. 

“You okay, Hyuck?”

He didn’t answer. 

“You’re okay, okay?”

Donghyuck snapped to look at Mark, his eyes were wide and filled with anxiety, tears lining the edges. 

Mark messily got off the bed, arms outstretched as he moved closer to Donghyuck. 

“I’m not gonna hold you,” he whispered as Donghyuck backed away. “We don’t need to touch, jus’ look at me.”

Neither of them moved as they looked into each other’s eyes. Gears slowly ground in Mark’s head as he figured out what Donghyuck was feeling. 

“I know it can be a bit freaky sometimes. But you gotta breathe, if you don’t you’re gonna have a bad trip. Let’s not have a bad trip, okay? Just talk to me.”

Donghyuck didn’t say anything, his eyes still wide.

“Okay, we don’t even have to talk. Let’s dance, okay?”

Donghyuck nodded, eyes darting down to follow Mark’s hand as he pulled out his phone. He clumsily opened his music app, fingers typing nonsense since he couldn’t properly read the screen. 

He ended up shuffling his music, needing to skip multiple slow songs. But eventually he landed on an upbeat song that always made him want to dance. 

Mark turned the sound up all the way and set his phone down on the bed.

“Let’s dance,” he whispered as he held his hand out. 

Donghyuck glanced between his hand and his eyes. He didn’t seem to trust it for a few seconds, but eventually placed his hand in Mark’s. 

Mark started with just swinging their arm back and forth to the beat. Even the slight movement seemed to melt stress from Donghyuck’s frame. Then he started twisting his shoulder’s, a small smile appearing when Donghyuck followed suit. Next he was bobbing his head like crazy, then he moved his hips, then his legs. Donghyuck followed each time. 

The absent minded movements seemed to lure Donghyuck out of whatever he was feeling. A faint smile appearing and his eyes relaxing. Before they knew it the two boys were hopping up and down, Mark mouthing the words and acting like he were on stage. 

They moved together through the next songs, not giving a care in the world as they forgot what songs played. Mark felt like he was above everything, the drugs fully setting in. He was normally hyper aware of everything, but tonight he was only focused on Donghyuck. 

The way he kept his eyes closed the entire time in peace, the way his hair was getting more and more tangled with every bounce, the way he didn’t let go of Mark’s hand no matter how far they strayed. He was enchanting, the blue lights mixing with his sun-kissed skin. The environment suited him. Up-beat and stimulating but relaxing and serene all at once. 

Everything was so perfect in this moment. Mark didn’t want it to pass. 

What felt like hours later the music finally switched, a slower rhythm taking over the atmosphere. Mark’s smile filled his whole face and his cheeks were flushed, pupils blown. He stopped moving around and stood still with his hand still in Donghyuck’s. He watched as the other kept dancing, oblivious to the new music. 

The smile on the younger’s face made Mark’s heart speed up and skip beats all at once. His breath was uneven and shallow but he didn’t care. He gently tugged on Donghyuck’s hand in hopes to bring him back to reality. 

Donghyuck responded by partially opening his eyes. His smile turning into one of embarrassment but still laced with joy. The two stared into each other’s eyes and Donghyuck kept waiting for him to move around again, but he soon took the hint and slowly stopped dancing as well. 

So there they stood, connected by their hands but still not standing close. The strumming of a guitar and sweet vocals mixing with the faint bass-boosted edm from below them. Breaths and hearts out of sync, stars dancing in their eyes. Neither of them said anything but they both stood with their mouths slightly open, feeling dry as they struggled to breathe regularly. 

Mark’s thoughts were rushing a mile an hour. The world around him felt blurred and distorted but he was kept grounded by the warmth of Donghyuck’s hand.

“You’re really warm,” he finally blurted out.

Donghyuck’s eyes furrowed and he tilted his head. He let out a small “huh?” before looking down at where they were connected. He looked back at Mark.

“Sorry,” he said. But he didn’t take his hand back. 

“It’s not bad.” Mark didn’t have any defense or accusation in his voice, it was just a statement.

A few beats passed between them. 

“I like warm.” He knew he would feel stupid saying that if he were sober, but he wasn’t so he didn’t. 

Donghyuck nodded and giggled lightly. He didn’t seem to really take in anything Mark was saying.

The music danced around them again as Mark struggled with what he should say next. Should he say anything? Should he just stay quiet and let the moment be?

He glanced between their hands and Donghyuck’s eyes. He darted his tongue between his lips before breathing deeply and taking a step forward.

Donghyuck’s lips curled up at the edges and the corners of his eyes crinkled as Mark did so. He dipped his head as he felt his ears heat up to match his face. When he met Mark’s eyes again he bit his lip and mirrored the action Mark had just taken. 

They now stood almost chest to chest, Mark having to look down every so slightly to hold their gazes. He felt the warmth of Donghyuck’s whole body as well as the coolness from his breath. His hands were getting clammy and his heartbeat sped up as he watched the lights dance in Donghyuck’s eyes.

Without looking away, Donghyuck grabbed Mark’s other hand and held them both to his chest. A small giggle escaped his mouth and that’s when Mark decided he was, indeed, in love.

He let go of one of Donghyuck’s hands and slowly brought it up to cup the side of his face. Donghyuck closed his eyes slightly as he leaned in to the touch. 

Mark still loved him. 

He stroked his thumb across the other’s soft cheek, trying catch his breath when Donghyuck’s fingers ghosted over the hand Mark had on his face. Donghyuck pressed his face closer to Mark’s palm and gently held the back of his hand. When he opened his eyes again, a softness took over them. A look of trust and want. 

_He’s perfect_.

Mark’s heart jackhammered in his chest as he placed his other hand on Donghyuck’s cheek. The younger kept a light grip on his wrist as they stared into each other’s eyes. The light touches grounded them both and left the points of contact feeling tingly.

The music around them had changed again but neither boy took notice. Everything outside of them drained away. 

They stood as they were for a little while longer, Mark’s thumbs brushing the younger’s cheeks and Donghyuck running his fingers over Mark’s hand and wrist. Both of them anticipating what would be next. 

“It’s been so long,” Mark whispered. 

Donghyuck took a deep breath in before letting it out in a heavy sigh. His eyes scanned Mark’s. “It really has. Have you missed me?”

“More than I would like to admit.”

The two let out small laughs, the ghost of a smile on their faces. The moment felt bittersweet for some reason, but Mark wished to only focus on the sweet part, bitter could come later. And Donghyuck seemed to be the sweetest thing in the room. 

Donghyuck lightly traced his fingertips up Mark’s arm, goosebumps following where he touched. He set his hand on the back of Mark’s head and brought their foreheads together. They breathed together for a moment, both of their hearts going haywire. 

“I’ve missed you too,” he let out with a small sob. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’m here now. I’m sorry I left you,” Mark’s voice was coated with just as much emotion. 

Donghyuck shook his head against Mark’s, trying not to let the tears escape his eye. “Don’t apologize. You’re here now, that’s all that matters.”

Mark’s eyebrows furrowed as he felt tears roll onto his hand. He let out a hum and gingerly wiped them from the other boy’s face.

“Hey don’t cry on me,” he let out a chuckle as he spoke. “Like, I know you’re an emotional drunk but I swear the drugs amplified it.”

Donghyuck leaned back and playfully hit Mark’s chest before rubbing the tears from his eyes. “Shut up, you’re just as crossfaded as I am.”

The two went silent again, Mark continuing to rub at Donghyuck’s smooth skin, staring at each other and feeling as if they were exchanging all their stories from the past two years. Even without words they could sense what the other meant. 

“I’m here now.” Mark’s words were barely audible as he leaned in slightly. “I’ll always be here for you from now on.”

Donghyuck reached up and cupped Mark’s face, searching his eyes for only a moment before closing the space between them. 

This wasn’t their first kiss, but it felt like it. The butterflies in Mark’s stomach fluttered violently and he felt like he was floating. He moved his hands to hold behind Donghyuck’s back and smiled into the kiss. They separated for a moment, breaths and giggles mixing together. 

The two felt whole when their lips met again, this time with a little less hesitation. Donghyuck shifted one hand just under Mark’s jaw and the other to the back of his neck. He pressed himself closer to Mark, reveling in the heat from his body. He wasn’t cold but it was something he missed. 

Mark gripped at the younger’s shirt as he moved closer, his head swarmed with memories and emotions and alcohol. He wouldn’t trade this moment for any other in the world, and he would need to remember to thank Jaemin and Yukhei for dragging him to the party. If they hadn’t, he wouldn’t have one of the prettiest boys in his arms. 

They tilted their heads and deepened their kiss, lips parting and breaths ghosting in each other’s mouths. Everything was a bit messy but neither of them were sober enough to care. 

Donghyuck laced his fingers in Mark’s hair, gently pulling as their tongues danced together. The kiss was warm and wet but comforting. A reassurance that neither held anything against the other. That they were still _them_. The same Mark and Donghyuck from years ago, just older and wiser but a bit dumber as well. 

Mark ran a hand under Donghyuck’s shirt, placing it on his lower back and holding him close. 

Warm. Comforting. Safe.

Mark slid both of his hands further up the younger’s back, lifting part of his shirt up. His skin was smooth and stretched over faint muscles as Donghyuck’s hands ran through Mark’s hair and down his neck. Mark felt him shiver slightly as he lightly dragged his fingers down his back; hands settling on hips. 

They kissed until they ran out of breath and even then they continued. Mark felt the warm exhales on his cheek. It tickled but he didn’t laugh. His head swarmed with thoughts. 

_I miss him_ type thoughts. _I love this_ type thoughts. _I want to do this again_ type thoughts. Every single one revolving around Donghyuck as if he were the sun and Mark was a planet enamored in his orbit. 

Mark clasped his hands together on Donghyuck’s lower back; holding him in place as they began to place more gentle kisses on one another. Soon they stood quietly, foreheads together with their eyes closed as they breathed each other’s breaths.

Mark opened his eyes as he felt two warm hands on his face. Donghyuck leaned back, resting his weight in Mark’s arms as his eyes smiled. 

“What’re you looking at?”

Donghyuck shrugged. “A cutie I think.”

“Hmm didn’t know I was a mirror.” Mark laughed as he watched Donghyuck cringe. 

“Even after two years you’re still a loser,” he said with no harshness in his voice. 

Mark smiled and quickly leaned in to rub his nose against Donghyuck’s face. His eyes were closed but he still felt how funny the world moved with him. 

When he leaned back again, the two were quiet once again. Mark’s phone still played music from across the room and there was still the annoying blast of bass from below. 

He had missed Donghyuck. Oh god he had missed him so much. 

Mark leaned in to place a kiss on the younger’s cheek. His heart still beating wildly with glee.

A sudden knock on the door startled the two.

They didn’t pull away as the door opened, a bright hall light quickly crawling into the room and backlighting the new person. Mark squinted his eyes trying to see the shadowed figure. 

“Oh.. oh god I’m sorry I didn’t uh..” The voice trailed and Mark watched the person point their head to the floor. They sounded familiar but he didn’t know why. 

He heard Donghyuck giggle next to him. “It’s okayyy,” his pretty voice danced over the music and drew itself out. “What’d’ya need?”

Mark looked over to Donghyuck, room twirling in his eyes before they landed on a mole on Donghyuck’s cheek. 

“Renjun and I were gonna leave in a bit. So we  
thought it would be good to find you.”

Donghyuck replies. Mark knew he did, but his voice seemed to begin to blend in with the music the more the they spoke. He was busy admiring the small moles and shallow, healed scars on the younger’s face. 

Some curls were sticking to his face, others hugging his ear and neck. Golden curls and golden skin. Mark was holding a product of Midas’ touch in his arms and he couldn’t be more proud. 

He was pulled from his trance when he felt fingers lightly drag down his arm. His gaze traveled to capture Donghyuck’s. Heavy eyelids and long lashes. He was beautiful. 

“Marky?”

The older cocked his head, not realizing Donghyuck had already said something. He let out a questioning hum. 

“I have to go..” Donghyuck seemed disappointed having to say that. He broke their gaze and traced his fingers along Mark’s arm once more before gently resting his hand above his elbow. His voice was quiet when he spoke again. 

“Can you walk me downstairs?”

Mark eagerly nodded his head. His heart still beating more heavily than usual. 

He felt Donghyuck interlock their hands. Warm and soft, just smaller than his own. He covered his eyes with the other hand, the hallway betraying him as his dilated pupils met the bright lights. 

He kept his eyes on Donghyuck’s back until they reached the stairwell. The stairs seemed to stretch on forever and Mark felt he might trip down them if he didn’t pay attention. As Donghyuck gently tugged on his hand to hurry him as he reached the last step. Mark’s shoes met the wooden floor and lightly clicked, while Donghyuck stayed on the last carpeted stairs. 

They looked at each other again. Mark took a deep breath and smiled as he tilted his head up. He knew they were both hesitant to leave. He didn’t want to say goodbye just yet. 

So they didn’t. Not for a few more minutes while time inconsistently passed and conversations buzzed around them. They simply looked at each other, connected by their hands. 

Someone spoke closer to them and Mark watched Donghyuck nod his head. He stepped down to be on the same level as Mark. His socks made no noise. 

Cold air brushed against Mark’s back as a door opened. He shivered. Donghyuck turned them so he now stood against the breeze. He shivered too. Mark held his hands tighter. 

“Here,” Donghyuck finally whispered. He wiggled one of his hands from Mark’s and grabbed a sharpie that lay on a table next to the stairs. He stuck out his tongue as he drew a small smiley face on the back of Mark’s hand. 

“Text me when you see this tomorrow, yeah?” He asked, now holding Mark’s hand between both of his. 

Mark nodded absentmindedly. Of course he was going to text him after this night; but it reassured him when he was told to. 

Donghyuck smiled contently at that, dropping Mark’s hand and cupping his face before leaving a small kiss on his lips. 

“I’ll see you around then,” he said as he walked back towards the door, tripping over his own feet slightly. 

“See ya,” Mark replied, lifting a hand to give a small wave as Donghyuck carelessly shoved his feet into his shoes. 

Once the front door closed, he began to wonder if this night had even been real. 

The next morning Mark woke up with a headache. His head felt like it was throbbing even as he hid his eyes from the light in his dorm room. He didn’t exactly recall how he had gotten back, had he called another Uber? Gotten a ride fromYukheinor Jaemin? Walked? He wasn’t the biggest fan of mysteriously ending up at his door, but at least he was there, Jaemin still sleeping in his bed across the room. 

He let out a groan as he turned onto his back, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands. He was slowly starting to think about the previous night and remembering little details. Mark’s hands froze as everything about Donghyuck came back. Seeing him again, the way he tasted like cinnamon and alcohol and mangoes. His soft hands and even softer lips. 

“Fuck,” Mark whispered as he ran his hands through his tangled hair. 

He lay with his eyes closed for a while longer, breathing heavily through his nose as he replayed bits and pieces of the previous night. He couldn’t remember everything but what he did remember seemed completely unreal. _The_ Lee Donghyuck, his friend of countless years, made out with _him_. “No fucking way,” he whispered, running his hands through his hair once again. 

He pulled his hands down his face, his skin stretching underneath his palms. His eyes were still heavy with sleep but his racing mind kept him awake. As he stared up at his ceiling fan the memory of warm hands and a pointed sharpie surfaced. 

Mark blindly grabbed around for his phone from his nightstand, letting out a breath of relief as he realized it was plugged in. He brought it close to his face, squinting to see the screen properly. It was difficult to navigate his phone with only one eye open but he managed to search through it for Donghyuck’s contact. 

He rubbed the sleep from his eye and opened it while twirling his thumbs together. The two boys hadn’t talked in nearly two years, no calls or texts, no nothing. Mark was hesitant to open their messages again. He knew they were still there. He never deleted messages. 

After a minute of pressing and holding on Donghyuck’s contact name, Mark finally lifted his thumb and opened their conversation. His heart dropped slightly at the last few messages

** _Hyuckie ♡_ **

** _may 31, 20- - _ ** _ 12:55 am_

_i know i’m a week late  
but congrats on graduation_

_i’ll never get there but i’ll just  
live vicariously thru you haha_

_** june 1, 20- - ** 1:15 am_

_fr tho, congrats! have fun at  
college. don’t forget about me ;p_

Mark had never responded, as far as he remembered. He didn’t think it had been on purpose but he knew that he never tried to reach out after he left. Mark had wanted to leave this town behind, even though he just ended up coming back to it. 

He took a few deep breaths and opened the keyboard. He typed out a few messages, some mentioning the night before, some not. Most started with a short apology about never replying to Donghyuck’s last message; but Mark realized it was pointless to apologize. They had said that neither held anything against the other. 

Mark let his fingers type a quick “good morning” and sent it out before he had time to second-guess himself on it’s simplicity. 

He waited, impatiently, for the reply. He caught sight of the time and cursed silently as the numbers read back 7:35 am. Was it weird to text this early? What if it was weird to even text? Would Donghyuck even be awake yet? What if he had changed his mind since the prior night and no longer wanted Mark to text him? What if he regretted it and ghosted Mark? What if Mark had made up Donghyuck telling him to text?

“Shut up, it’s fine,” he whispered to himself. He wasn’t going to let his anxiety ruin this for him. Beside, if Donghyuck _did_ ghost Mark, it was probably well deserved.

The white and blue slowly burned its way into Mark’s eyes so he turned his phone off and placed it face-down on his chest. He crossed his hands over it and stared up at the ceiling. His mind didn’t settle even after putting his phone down but he did his best to ignore any doubts. He would figure out eventually if Donghyuck still wanted to talk or not. 

His heart started beating wildly as he felt his phone vibrate against his chest. He fumbled his phone a bit as he hurriedly picked it up, grinning like an idiot as the screen lit up with a text notification. 

** _ Hyucky ♡ _ ** __

_morning, cutie :) _

Mark kicked his feet in bed, clutching his phone to his chest one more. He closed his eyes tight and laughed as he realized how stupid he probably looked right now, but he didn’t care. His stomach was full of butterflies and his chest was warm. 

He was still completely head over heels, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/xuximoons)   
[curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/crescentim)


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